Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
