I want to stick my p in your. b.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Tell her she can't have a vagina
only if we run a train.
done.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
