Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
