I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sorry my hands just texted you
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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