I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
