Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Randomize
