Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
