The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
