im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize