I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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