Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
