I wanna bring you to show and tell
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
