I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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