We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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