when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
