I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize