Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
