life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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