Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
