...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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