I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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