Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
