Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize