have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
