I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize