Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
