1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
