You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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