You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
