that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
