I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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