So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
