Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
