I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize