I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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