office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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