Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize