med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
