he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
did i walk over a car last night?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
