im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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