I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
