oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
