A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
