For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize