the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
