did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
