Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
