apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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