I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I would fuck him just for his dog
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
