Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
