i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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