2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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