Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
