On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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