i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
