I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wear drunk well.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize