I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
