oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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