Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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