Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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