Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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